Published: 2025-08-07

“I’m gonna have a quarter pound, extra large fries, and a lime soda. An ice cream, too. What do y’all want?” Said John to the girl at the register before turning his head to his friends who were lined up behind him. “Um, I want a half-pound, extra cheese, no pickles. Can you add bacon? I want bacon. No fries, and a large cola, please.” Said Peter. “Half pound for him, no pickles, extra cheese, and bacon. Large cola, please.” Said John, “What about you, Frank? What’s it gonna be?” He added. “I’ll take whatever.” Said Frank. “You can’t take whatever, what is wrong with you?” Replied Peter. “I want one of those meals that come with a toy.” Said Frank. “The hell is wrong with you? You cannot get one of those.” Said Peter. “Why not?” Inquired Frank. “Um, for once, they’re for kids.” Said Peter, “I’ll second that, they’re for kids.” Chimed in John. “Look, this is a free country. I want a toy, I’ll pay for it, it’s not a big deal.” Replied Frank. “You cannot have a toy!” Shouted Peter, “You are holding the line, for god’s sake!” Shouted a hungry customer from the back of the line. “My friend will have a quarter pound, extra large fries, and a cola. Can you throw in a toy? It’s his birthday.” Said John to the girl at the register. “I can, but I’ll have to charge you for a full kid’s meal.” She replied. “Thanks, honey, you are the best.” Said John while winking at her, “I’ll pay with credit card.” He continued. “C’mon guys, let’s have a seat.” He concluded. “Finally, these idiots are done.” Said to himself the hungry customer at the back of the line.

The guys took a seat, and John asked, “So. What did you think about the movie?” “Give me a minute, I’ll check Rotten Tomatoes.” Said Peter while taking his phone out. “Bro, don’t do that, I’m asking you.” Said John. “I’m sorry, bro, I gotta know.” Concluded Peter. “I liked it. It was a 10/10.” Said Frank. “You see? Thank you, Frank, I appreciate your opinion.” Said John. “He always says that! That was no 10/10. Get out of here!” Said Peter, “That’s better than saying ‘Oh, I’ll check Rotten Tomatoes’ every time.” Said John in a mocking tone, “Well, excuse me for believing in the industry’s leading experts.” Said Peter. “Where’s our food?” Interjected Frank, “What do you mean where’s our food? It’s McDonald’s! You have to go get your order.” Said Peter. “Man, fuck McDonald’s.” Said Frank, “Why did we come here?” He continued, “We always come here!” Shouted Peter, “It’s because you love their stupid toys!” Peter added. “Why do you hate toys?” asked Frank with an annoyed expression. “I don’t hate toys!” Said Peter before being interrupted by John. “I’ll go bring the food, you guys keep it civil until I come back, OK?”. “Yes, mom. I’ll behave.” Said Peter in a childish voice, “Fuck you.” Replied John while smiling. The table fell silent for a minute, as if the guys had decided to behave until John came back.

“Here it is, guys, have at it.” Said John while sliding the tray full of fast food onto the table. “Sweet! Where’s my toy?” Said Frank, “Really?” Said Peter. “Guys, c’mon, don’t be a pain in the ass.” Said John, “And here’s your toy, Frank!” he continued. “Sweet! It’s Sonic!” Said Frank, “This guy really likes his toys…” Said Peter while Frank played with the toy and hummed Sonic’s main theme. “So, about the movie…” Said John after taking a bite from his burger. “It’s only 65% on Rotten Tomatoes.” Added Peter. “Yeah, but what do you think?” asked John, putting emphasis on the word “you”. “It’s a 6.5/10 movie, nothing to write home about,” Replied Peter. “You know what I didn’t get about the movie?” Said Frank while putting the toy down for a moment, “Why didn’t Detective Carter use the time machine in the warehouse to solve the case before his partner got killed?” He concluded. “What are you talking about?” Said Peter. “Remember the scene in the warehouse?” Asked Frank. “He was texting during that scene,” Interjected John. “Fuck, I was probably answering Sarah’s text.” Said Peter. “Wuh-PSSST,” Said Frank, imitating a whip sound. “Stop that!” Said Peter. “So, are we doing it again next week?” Continued Peter. “You can betcha ass we are,” Responded John. “I don’t know, man, will you be able to get permission from Sarah?” Asked Frank. “Bro, fuck you,” Said Peter with a smile on his face. They all laughed and kept eating.

THE END.