Published: 2025-04-28

When I made this site I wanted it to be an extension of my online persona, I wanted to be able to say whatever I would say in social media, but in more detail. I didn't want it to become a "technical blog", or a "movie reviews blog", or a "video games blog", I really just wanted to write whatever I feel like it, and that ideal has brought me to today's topic: stupid video games.

If you have interacted with me in any way, shape, or form, chances are you have noticed my love for Pokémon, the Japanese media franchise targeted at kids that I refuse to let go, how could I? My happiest moments in life have been tied to Pokémon, since first watching the anime to then spending hundreds of hours playing Pokémon Yellow on my Game Boy Color, to meeting my best friend with whom I still have a close relationship after 20 years, Pokémon was always there, there's just something special about the story of a neglected child that turns to animal cruelty and runs from home that I cannot get enough of! And maybe that's why I keep playing the new games, to recapture the magic of those past moments, but honestly, it's not the same, I just feel like the games are not for me anymore, and that's OK! Maybe it's all nostalgia, and I'm watching the past through rose-colored glasses, right? I can't deny that there's some of that involved but after playing Cassette Beasts I can say there's more to the story, for the first time in 20-plus years I feel like a 10-year-old adventuring in a foreign land through the screen of a Game Boy Color, and that's how I met your mother what we are going to talk about today.

Why "let's talk"?

Have you ever seen those videos on YouTube titled "Let's Play X", where some guy plays, well, X!? Of course you have, you beautiful internauta, — that's Spanish for internet user, we have our own word for that! — well, I'm old and not that cool so I don't think I'll be making videos anytime soon, but writing about this or that game whenever I feel lik it¹? Oh boy, that I can do!

Why "stupid" video games?

It's just video games. It's not that deep, bro.

Why Cassette Beasts!?

Now we're getting somewhere.

I usually don't play "modern" games, I don't own any modern console, also I don't know what a Steam is, my laptop could totally handle some of the games the cool kids are playing nowadays but nah, I'm good, there's a huge library of games I didn't get to play growing up, I'll stick with those for the most part. Once in a blue moon, if it captured my interest, I would play a modern game, and Cassette Beasts was one of those modern games that caught my eye and I just had to play.

I first heard — more like read — of Cassette Beasts in an article titled "Play These X Games If You Like Pokémon", or something, I don't really remember that well, the thing is I immediately dismissed it — all of the games in the list actually — as a "Pokémon clone", a catch-all — pun intended — term used to refer to monster catching games, and one many people are way too eager to label any game that features catching and training mechanics, I know I was one of them. And boy, how wrong I was!

There are indeed a lot of Pokémon-like games out there, some of them are so similar to Pokémon that you might find yourself asking "Why aren't I playing Pokémon instead?", but Cassette Beasts is not one of them, no sir! There are more the qualities that differentiate it from Pokémon than the ones that make it similar, the battle mechanics for once are nothing alike, Cassette Beasts utilizes a battle points system, each attack costs a number of battle points — except for one basic attack you get to use for free — and each turn a beast is given 2 battle points, battle points are shared between all your attacks and the way you use them is up to you, that's a fresh idea! Plus, you can get more — or less — battle points per turn if you have a specific status effect or passive move, and that's two of the greatest things in Cassette Beasts' battle system: status effects and passive moves.

If you have played a JRPG before — any JRPG — you are probably familiar with status effects like poisoned, paralyzed, and burned, they are these temporary handicaps you could get inflicted with during battle, and they're of course present in Cassette Beasts too, what's different is 1) all status effects are cleared at the end of a battle, and 2) there's a ton of original ones alongside the classics to make the battling system ever richer and more complex.

Passive moves on the other hand can be compared to "abilities" in Pokémon, these could be an extra attack at no cost or some kind of status effect at the beginning of the battle or under certain conditions, but unlike Pokémon, a beast could have as many passive moves as it's compatible with, in fact you can have a beast with only passive moves if you wanted! How cool is that!?

And now that we touched on moves, well, let's talk about moves! In Cassette Beasts you don't actually have moves, you have "stickers", these stickers you put on your cassette tapes — each cassette tape represents a beast — and your beast will learn the ability to use the move described in the sticker, the best part? Stickers are replaceable! Don't want a move anymore? Just peel the sticker from your cassette and that's it, the sticker will be added to your inventory for you to reuse whenever you feel like it, just like that! This mechanic allows you to customize your cassette stickers as much as you want and/or need, you could get a set of stickers for a fight and then a completely different set for the next fight, again, HOW COOL IS THAT!!?

And on top of everything I just said about stickers, did you know there are typeless stickers? That means you can put those on any beast you want to, no matter its type, the sticker will be compatible! And what's more, it will assume the type of your monster! A typeless sticker like smack or spit could be type poison if put it on a poison beast, or fire if put it on a fire beast, or... Well, you get the idea.

But I don't intend for this post to be a review of the game mechanics, that's lame! Let's review what I liked, didn't like, and what I'd like to see more of.

The good parts

Characters' stories

In Cassette Beasts you don't have to embark on a journey alone, in fact, you can't, — as far as I know — multiple characters will accompany you during your journey, each one of them has their own beast, personality, and story, and you get to hear said story by hanging out and listening to your companions while resting at the café or camping outside, it's a simple and effective way to make you care for the characters. Also, you can just pass a second controller to one of your friends and they'll be able to control said companion, that's a nice touch on a JRPG.

Inclusivity

When you start the game they ask you for your character name and their pronouns — yes, I said the "P-word", if that makes you uncomfortable I invite you to get the hell outta my blog and go fuck yourself — the developers don't seem too concerned with the genitalia you were born with, they just want to know how your character should be called and how to address it properly.

After seeing that I immediately thought "Cool, this is one of those games that make grown-ass men and women cry on the internet, let's play it!", and boy, I did have an awesome time playing it!

I'm gonna get serious for a moment. When I was in my teens I thought lesbians weren't real, I'm not trying to be funny here, I genuinely believed that, why? Because back then I never met a — openly — lesbian woman. I mean, I saw gay men in the neighborhood, at school, and here and there, I didn't understand it back then — and didn't know I didn't have to understand it, just accept it and respect it — but I knew men liking other men was a real thing, I couldn't say the same thing about love between women. Sure, I'd see it in those kinds of videos that one watches way too much of as a teenager, but was that even real? I don't think so.

The thing is I've grown, I've met all kinds of beautiful people, in the stand-up comedy circuit, — yes, I went to a couple of open mics for like three months and now I won't shut up about "doing stand-up" — in social media, in college, and I think representing those people in the stories we read, or listen to, or watch, or play, it's important, and Cassette Beasts makes a great job representing people of all kinds of background, color, and sexual orientation across its vast array of characters.

It wants you to win

The game rarely feels unfair, they don't want you to grind or complete impossible missions just so you can prove you're the guy — or gal! No, they would have NPCs point you in the right direction, and give you valuable advice instead of babbling some useless piece of generic dialogue, every action in this game is rewarded, you talk to an NPC? They give you valuable info or even a side quest. You battle wild beasts? They give you materials you can trade for stickers or other items. You explore the world out of sheer curiosity? You get valuable loot. It's as simple as that.

Music

The music in this game is so good, I mean, it has to be, you cannot make a game called Cassette Beasts and have horrible music, they knew it, and they delivered. I wish it was more 80ish, I don't know, some synthesizers would have been nice, think Tainted Love by Soft Cell or Don't You Want Me by The Human League, but that's just me.

Own identity

We gotta be honest here, each and every "monster catching" game ever will be compared to Pokémon at some point, Pokémon is so ingrained in popular culture across the globe that we cannot talk about "monster catching" without immediately thinking of Pokémon, that'd be like talking about superheroes and not thinking of Batman or Spider-man, but I digress... Cassette Beasts manages to distance itself from the likes of Pokémon by being original and embracing its own ideas instead of striving for familiarity.

One of those original ideas is fusing with your beasts like in Digimon Frontier, instead of commanding them like some sort of sick 10-year-old pro-animal-cruelty gambler, you do your own fighting, and yes, after your beast gets beaten they can straight up kick your character's ass!

The bad parts

Characters' stories

Some of the characters' stories didn't resonate with me, concretely Felix's and Viola's. I mean, one of Felix's drawings comes to life as a beast, why? Why not ALL of his drawings? I don't see how it makes sense, it honestly was a little weird, but it's not the end of the world. Viola on the other hand is a character from a Shakespeare's book? Why? Why aren't all Shakespeare's characters in this world then? I don't get it, and not having studied classic English literature makes it even more confusing, so I can't say that I enjoyed their stories too much.

Pointless decision prompts

More and more games are doing this, and honestly, I hate it, just don't do it. What do I mean by pointless decision prompts? Well, do you like ice cream? Here are the valid answers:

• Yes
• Of course!

Please, we gotta stop this nonsense.

The I-wish-it-had-some-more-of-this parts

Humor

The humor in Cassette Beasts is awesome, when they introduce the Landkeepers for the first time and then you get to fight them and discover what they really are is just hilarious. There are some other moments here and there but not nearly enough in my opinion.

Dungeons and Puzzles

I loved the dungeons and puzzles in Cassette Beasts, they are not overly complicated, they're inviting, they pick your curiosity, and always reward you with something worth your time, my only complain is that there are not enough of them, I'd like the map to be even bigger, with more caves, more puzzles, more surprises, I want it all!

Closing Time

I wanted to take a minute to express my appreciation for the game, this was supposed to be a way shorter article but I kept thinking of things to say about the game, — I still have more but I better stop! — I already put nearly 40 hours into it, I finished it, but I can't stop playing, I think it's a great game, I love it, and maybe you would love it too if you get to play it, I don't know.

Anyway, here's Closing Time by Semisonic, I'll go play some Cassette Beasts, or take a nap, whatever my old-man body feels like.